Saturday, October 27, 2012

Words...And words are all I take your heart away...

If one were to list the reasons for quarrels among couples, it is not money mindedness that would top the list! The Words! Words that dissolve into thin air the moment they are uttered are the main reason for causing bitterness in a relationship between a husband and wife. Just a few words have dragged some couples to courts! Mere words have made many couples to live like strangers within the same household
Here is a brief tale!
A husband never bothered about the likes and dislikes of his wife. The wife's reciprocal attitude perfectly suited her husband. One night, the husband had not returned home till midnight. The wife, not worried about him, had long since retired to bed. In the middle of the night, there was a knock at the door.
The wife opened the door. It was her husband. He had brought a monkey along with him. As soon as she saw the monkey, the wife was furious. However, she swallowed her anger and went to bed. He placed the monkey on the bed between him and his wife.
Now she could contain her anger no more!
'How can you let a monkey sleep by my side? How can I bear this nuisance and nasty smell?'
'Of course! Haven't I got used to your foul smell ever since I married you? So, soon this monkey too would get used to it!' said the husband. These pricking words hurt the wife no end. On the same night, their marital life came to an end!
Here, we have to recall the words of Dalai Lama.
`If the reason for your being born on the earth should be fulfilled, please help others. In case you are not able to help others, at least try not to hurt anyone!'
But, what happens in some houses? Husband and wife tear each other apart with their words. It seems strange even to think of it! As the levels of knowledge, skills and abilities of human beings rise higher, the rates of divorce also increases!

What is the reason for this? The answer for this question lies in the meaning of the word `knowledge.'
Well then, what is knowledge? Knowledge does not reside in books. It is visible in the behavior of people.    In business management schools emphasis is laid on a subject Interpersonal skills! This subject teaches us how to develop good and healthy relationships with co-workers, superiors, subordinates and clients.
Recently, a reputed University in USA conducted a survey to analyze what are the characteristics of persons who rise quickly in their professional life. Do you know the result of this survey?
For a person to succeed in his profession, 35 per cent subject knowledge is sufficient. But, what is important is, 65 per cent knowledge about interpersonal skills! That is to say, only a person, who knows to strengthen relationships, can surpass any barriers to growth and come up in his profession. If the skills for strengthening relationships are necessary at the workplace where one works for monetary returns, then can you imagine how important they are at home too?
Even if a person has made a mistake, do not tell him, 'What you have done is wrong.' On the contrary, help him see what is right rather than make him feel wrong. Even if you have to criticize someone apply the sandwich technique.... place your criticism between praises. There are many communication skills like disarming, pre-emptive strikes, multiple closes, emptying technique .... For example, you Can instantly build a rapport with the other by
• applying warm up technique by asking questions which impress the other...
• using "Me too' technique to be one with the speaker's interest...
• avoiding 'I and Me' and using 'You' more often.
These are the primary lessons in Interpersonal skills. These are suitable not only for the working environment, but also in intimate relationships.
Today, in many houses, the relationship between a husband and wife is like a stone. But the strange fact is, even stone carvings in places like Khajuraho are full of life and romantic splendour! This was the vision of our Rishis & Sages of India.

 Harsh words are sure poison that spoils life. People's skills are sure highways to success. .. .
Source:  Oh! Life Relax, please - Swami Sukha Bodhananda.


Bala said...

Good Morning, Ilango Ji

Thanks for yet another good week end post :)

Nilesh Patil said...

Good Morning Master & Friends,

Dare said...

Good morning master,

nice article... it also said that :
"always speak sweet
so that if you have to eat your words back,
it doesn't taste bitter..!!!"

durga said...

MASTER, true to your words.SEMANTIC PROBLEMS
spoils every thing.i read somewhere that RUSHI is one who searches for TRUTH.a MUNI IS ONE WHO KEEPS SILENT,having known the TRUTH.

Parimal said...

Good Morning Dear Master
satyam bruyat, priyam bruyat (speak the truth, speak the way it does not hurt).
The Vedas-- madhu vaca rtayate (speak sweetly the Truth).

shriram said...

Morning ilango ji,

super article again,

let me try to implement calm, even when ppl needle unnecessarily,

that wud b a real testto know , if the lesson is well soaked in :-)

jay shah said...

wonderful post again dear sir many thanks

venkatapathy l said...

Namaste Ilango Sir.

Though I missed this blog for the past 4 weeks I never missed your Saturday posts. They are enriching and inspirational.



venkatapathy l said...

Namaste Ilango Sir.

Though I missed this blog for the past 4 weeks I never missed your Saturday posts. They are enriching and inspirational.



Shradha Saburi said...

Good Morning Sir N all the gems of JN
Again wonderful article
Here on this blog many my friends use the power of words, Parimalji, Jayaramanji Mynac(ji)
Nilesh patil and many others.

gauresh59 said...

Namaste ilango sir,

Nice usual for each weekend inspiring and teaching us.

Let me put some quotes regarding this which i got from my teachers:

Speak in such a way that people listen and listen in such a way that people speak to you...!!!

Think about everything that you speak.
Do not speak everything that you think..!!

Let me explain how Sir's weekend post have inspired...

Few months ago Sir you have put a story of Ahmedabad No Richshawalo - Udaybhai on JN blog. After reading the story of Mr.Udaybhai, it happened to me to have meeting with Mr. Udaybhai for so many times. He has inspired me to adopt the same concept of “gift economy” for stock market. We discussed and met some big business associates for this purpose and explained our mission of social welfare of education and organ transplant with the help of subscription fund. These business organizations come forward to contribute ‘xxxxxx’ amount to enhance our mission as a result of which it becomes possible for us to fix subscription rates for serious positional traders at the lowest token level. And we are now on the path of success for our goal of "Gift economy"

Udaybhai has helped us a lot in this concept. I am very much grateful to Udaybhai and ilango Sir for making me think about "gift economy".

Always wishing to have soft hand of Master upon me and my family as blessings.

Nilesh Patil said...

@Shradha Saburi,
Send me a test mail,

Manish said...

Dear Master and all Blogmates,

Another inspiring and thought provoking article from master who does not "Just....teach....Nifty"only.

Kudos to Gauresh on implementing the idea of "Gift economy" after master's article.Do keep it up !!!

"Om Bhur bhuvah swah tat savitur varenayam
Bhargo devasya dhi mahi
Dhiyo yo nah pracho dayat".

gauresh59 said...

@ Manish,

Sarve Sukhinah Santhu
Sarve Santhu Niraamayaah
Sarve Bhadraani Pashyantu
Maa Kaschid Dukhabhaag Bhavet
Aum Shanti Shanti Shantihi

Meaning: May all possess happiness. May all be healthy (free from all diseases). May all see beauty. May there be good fortune and no misery anywhere. May there be peace everywhere.

Asatoma Sadgamaya
Thamaso Maa Jyothir Gamaya
Mrithyor Maa Amrutham Gamaya
Aum Shanti Shanti Shantihi

Meaning: Lead me from the unreal to the real. Lead me from darkness to light. Lead me from death to immortality. May there be peace everywhere.


Good Afternoon Sir & All Friends.

Dinesh Rishi said...

Good Afternoon Master and copy to all

Thanks master for the weekend post

Dr. Venkatapathy Sir,

Hope u enjoyed your North India Tour :D

Jayaraman said...

Shradha Saburi ji,

Thanks for your kind words and it will motivate me to travel in the correct direction.

With Warm Regards

rajiv malik said...

The Nifty (5,664.3) remained in a narrow band between 5,640 and 5,720 last week. Since the range is similar to the previous week, we retain the same view and targets as given in our last column. Traders can go short in rallies with stop at 5,750. Downward targets remain 5,663 or 5,596.

Investors can stay sanguine as long as the index trades above 5,596. Subsequent lower targets are 5,520 and 5,450. If the index reverses higher next week, then upper targets would be 5,815 and 5,825. Medium-term view for the Nifty stays positive and we will wait for a close below 5,420 to reverse this view. Target on strong close above 5,825 is 5,940.

courtesy- business line

Dinesh Rishi said...

Rajiv Malik

You have been..................

I cant understand why u visit JN

If u have such good Analysis, what ur doing here

Follow JNSAR "Daulat Besumar"

Dinesh Rishi said...

Downward targets remain 5,663 or 5,596.

Target on strong close above 5,825 is 5,940.


tell me how u will trade this

rajiv malik said...

dinesh rishi ji,

i think just nifty is not your personal property or a blog you are holding in your pocket. it is a public platform open for all. therefore please deal with others in a polite and courteous manner. your arrogance is visible in your every word. it is time mr. ilango for whom i have very high regards, ensures that you do not brow beat and make fun of others using the august platform of his prestigious and popular blog.

i have reproduced the views of business line, a prestigious business daily and everything is very clearly mentioned and understandable. it is not meant for self styled experts like you who are here merely to promote their business but the common readers who will benefit from these views.

still if ilango ji has any objection or issue with my post, i will stop my posts here.

many a times you unnecessarily keep poking your nose in matters which do no not even concern you. this is one clear example. it is time that others who have suffered due to your arrogant behaviour must also come out openly and point it out to the great human being ilango ji who is the owner and moderator of this blog. if anything, you should learn the politeness, courtesy, down to earth approach, some of the many virtues of our beloved ilango ji.

for heaven's sake let others also have the freedom to use this platform for their evolution and stop making fun of others in a high headed, inhuman and satirical manner.

Tapassya-Manthan said...


you reproduced the analysis of "Business Standard".
It is my favorite financial news-paper but for some reasons, I do not buy it these days & so your contribution is beneficial to me at least.
I have seen that you re-produce these weekend articles from Business Standard at some other portals also on a regular basis, I appreciate your efforts & dedication.


Crorepathi said...

I learnt guru Bhakti from DR Ji
I learnt discipline from DR Ji
I learnt humility from DR Ji
He,s the inventor of predictive SAR and given to the world for free!

rajiv malik said...

dear crorepathi ji,

i appreciate your praising shri dinesh rishi. however please unbiasedly go through my post where i have simply reproduced the levels of nifty given my one of the most reputed business dailies of india, business line. i did this with no selfish interest neither do i represent business line nor i run a commercial blog like shri dinesh rishi so that i can catch fish here and make money. i just wanted to share the information on levels of nifty for the benefit of one and all.

pl do let me know why dinesh rishi ji has tried to unnecessarily poke his nose and make fun of my post which was serious and academic in nature. if as you say he has all the good qualities including humility, which you learnt from him, do you think he has behaved with humility and courtesy in response to my informative and useful post.

would be good if you just do not keep praising out of context without seeing how he is behaving with others misusing this august platform. shri dinesh rishi has no right to do so as this is a public platform and i have equal right to participate unless the moderator whom i hold in high respect has any objection to the contents of my post.

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