Saturday, April 24, 2010

Don't put this off to another time, please..

After 25 years of marriage, I discovered a new way of keeping alive the spark of love. A little while ago I started to go out with another woman. It was really my wife's idea.

"I know you love her," she said one day, taking me by surprise.

"But I love YOU!" I protested.

"I know, but you also love her."

The other woman my wife wanted me to visit was my mother, who has been a widow for 39 years. The demands of my work and my two children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally. That night, I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.

"What's wrong, are you well," she asked? My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.
"I thought it would be pleasant to pass some time with you," I responded. "Just the two of us."

She thought about it for a moment, then said, "I would like that very much."

That Friday, after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the doorway with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's.

"I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed," she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our meeting."

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady.

After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Halfway through the entree, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.

"It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said.

"Then it's time you relaxed and let me return the favor," I responded.

During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation – nothing extraordinary - just catching up on recent events of each other's lives. We talked so much that we missed the movie.

As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you." I agreed and kissed her good night.

"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home.

"Very nice. Much nicer than I could have imagined," I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her.

Sometime later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I was almost sure that I couldn't be there, but, never-the-less, I paid for two plates --one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant to me. I love you."

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying, "I LOVE YOU" in time, and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than your family and friends. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot always be put off to "some other time."

(Seen in "The Inspired Buffalo")

20 comments:

fundooguysus said...

DEAR ILANGO,
thanx for this gr8 story, i always wait for this weekend stuff from ur side and i know it will be better this time then the last one.
though...... i think its best.
thanx

Rajagopal said...

Dear Ilango,
Thank you. We are getting too much LOVE here. Why don't you tell us what HATRED does? Or you don't know what it is?

Have a nice week end. As the Dr prescribed, say hallo to Coimbatore-vasi.

Regards,
S Rajagopal

useless thoughs said...

Very Good story but that is the culture that prevails in the developed nation, where one has to date his mother or has to find time for her mother. World has gone to materialism forgetting what true love is ?
Man spends all his life in accumulating wealth, at what cost ?
Love is true wealth, until he finds this truth, sooner or later, he will have everything but except love and time for his near and dear ones.

“If your Riches are yours, why don't you take them with you to t'other world?"

Tryin2Trade said...

Ilaango...

Another great story to start the weekend...

Incidentally I came across this today, in some blog;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RQ4WVeLKJI

Enjoy and all blog-mates have a great weekend!!!!

Cheers!!!

r m said...

Thanks Sir.

alphabet1 said...

There is a cultural disconnect here. These values are not for us to crave, they are inherently present what makes us Indian. I rather pity the Americans.

johnny30 said...

Very touching story thanks a lot for such motivational story

sansethi said...

Oops sorry I Got the link

Anonymous said...

Alphabet1 this is for you. Sooner than later we Indians will also find life is like that, if you don't believe me just visit Bangalore, stay here for some time and soon you will find that time is at a premium here. For any work it requires a minimum of 2-4 visits to complete the job and that too because it is not your mistake. My kid refuses to come with me when I have some work, does she have no place for me, no it's just that her priorities are a lot different from mine, and history will repeat itself.

BALA said...

Sir,
I want to close the Dmat account. I am having one or two junk ,not traded shares. DP authorities told it is not able to close and you have to pay the AMC. No use of transferring in to physical form as the company itself does not exit. What to do . How to Book the loss such type of junk shares.Thanks
Bala

golfdude said...

i am not a senti guy. But this made me teary.


Unrelated...Something i read today...

Remember this: Your growth always lies on the other side of your discomfort. Whether it's in the weight room or in career decisions, you'll never develop yourself by staying in your comfort zone. People don't become old when they reach a certain birthday; they become old when they decide to live life without crossing that line of discomfort.

mo h said...

sadly the youth in west - irrespective of wherever they come from - tend to think sentiment & attachment is avoidable burden, and relations may be considered unwanted luggage ! [i know firsthand talking to many of those youth].
Materialism has overtaken them - its a world losing.
Now, our IPL has become like their WWF ... Whatelse, we do not know yet.
Touching to see sentiment taking over ...

Sanjay said...

Dear Ilango Sir and Blogmates,

Very touching and nice story !!!!

My mom only had one eye. I hated her... She was such an embarrassment. She cooked for students & teachers to support the family. There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to say hello to me. I was so embarrassed, how could she do this to me? I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out. The next day at school one of my classmates said, 'EEEE, your mom only has one eye!', I wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my mom to just disappear. I confronted her that day and said, ' If you're only gonna make me a laughing stock, why don't you just die?' My mom did not respond. I didn't even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because I was full of anger. I was oblivious to her feelings.
I wanted out of that house, and have nothing to do with her so I studied real hard, got a chance to go abroad to study. Then, I got married.
I bought a house of my own. I had kids of my own. I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts, then one day, my Mother came to visit me.
She hadn't seen me in years and she didn't even meet her Grandchildren, when she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled at her for coming over uninvited. I screamed at her, 'How dare you come to my house and scare my Children!' GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!' and to this, my mother quietly answered, 'Oh, I'm so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address,' and she disappeared out of sight.
One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip. After the reunion, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity. My neighbors said that she died. I did not shed a single tear. They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have.

My dearest son,

I think of you all the time. I'm sorry that I came to your house and scared your children. I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you. I'm sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up.
You see........when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mother, I couldn't stand watching you having to grow up with one eye. So I gave you mine. I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye.

With all my love to you,

Your mother.

Always tell someone that you love them because you never know what day will be their last, or your own.

Always seek to resolve your problems or disagreements with loved ones because if either of you should pass on before, the one who is left alive will have the rest of their life to ponder those unresolved feelings but will never find closure. And closure usually brings Peace...

Thanks & Regards

Sanjay Kr Jaiswal

Rajagopal said...

Dear Sanjay,
.....
.....
.....

(for a difference i don't have words. where is this from?)

A J said...

@Sanjay
Again a masterpiece from you
Good work

Piyush Sharda said...

Yesterday sundar sir was kind enuf to clear my doubts regarding volatility study.

Now sundar sir have I understood it correctly or I need another session –
Friday nifty closing 5304

Vix 16.56

Nifty range 5351-5259

Put 5300 and 5200 put oi increased to probably upper end may be tested. Pls clarify

Piyush Sharda said...

typo

read to as so

BALA said...

Sir

Two wonderful reading

Thanks

Bala

Sanjay said...

Dear Blogmates,

I don't know about the the source, it was mailed to me by one of my good friends. I was very much overwhelmed with the writeup so I submitted the same in the most appropriate Blog.

Thanks agains for the kind words.

Regards

Sanjay Kr Jaiswal

Piyush Sharda said...
This comment has been removed by the author.

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