Let go off your inflated sack....never a need to strive to forgive another at all..!

Know that talking ill of others in private is a sin, you must wholly avoid it. Many things may occur to the mind, but it gradually makes a mountain of a mole-hill, if you try to express them.
Everything ends, if you forgive and forget. - Swami Vivekananda.(Happy B'Day Guruji..)

One day, the sage gave the disciple an empty sack and a basket of potatoes. "Think of all the people who have done or said something against you in the recent past, especially those you cannot forgive. For each of them, inscribe the name on a potato and put it in the sack."
The disciple came up quite a few names, and soon his sack was heavy with potatoes.
"Carry the sack with you wherever you go for a week," said the sage. "We'll talk after that."

At first, the disciple thought nothing of it. Carrying the sack was not particularly difficult. But after a while, it became more of a burden. It sometimes got in the way, and it seemed to require more effort to carry as time went on, even though its weight remained the same.
After a few days, the sack began to smell. The carved potatoes gave off a ripe odor. Not only were they increasingly inconvenient to carry around, they were also becoming rather unpleasant.
Finally, the week was over. The sage summoned the disciple. "Any thoughts about all this?"
"Yes, Master," the disciple replied. "When we are unable to forgive others, we carry negative feelings with us everywhere, much like these potatoes. That negativity becomes a burden to us and, after a while, it festers."
"Yes, that is exactly what happens when one holds a grudge. So, how can we lighten the load?"
"We must strive to forgive."
"Forgiving someone is the equivalent of removing the corresponding potato from the sack. How many of your transgressors are you able to forgive?"
"I've thought about it quite a bit, Master," the disciple said. "It required much effort, but I have decided to forgive all of them."
"Very well, we can remove all the potatoes. Were there any more people who transgressed against you this last week?"

The disciple thought for a while and admitted there were. Then he felt panic when he realized his empty sack was about to get filled up again.
"Master," he asked, "if we continue like this, wouldn't there always be potatoes in the sack week after week?"
"Yes, as long as people speak or act against you in some way, you will always have potatoes."
"But Master, we can never control what others do. So what good is the Tao in this case?"
"We're not at the realm of the Tao yet. Everything we have talked about so far is the conventional approach to forgiveness. It is the same thing that many philosophies and most religions preach – we must constantly strive to forgive, for it is an important virtue. This is not the Tao because there is no striving in the Tao."
"Then what is the Tao, Master?"
"You can figure it out. If the potatoes are negative feelings, then what is the sack?"
"The sack is... that which allows me to hold on to the negativity. It is something within us that makes us dwell on feeling offended.... Ah, it is my inflated sense of self-importance."
"And what will happen if you let go of it?"
"Then... the things that people do or say against me no longer seem like such a major issue."
"In that case, you won't have any names to inscribe on potatoes. That means no more weight to carry around, and no more bad smells. The Tao of forgiveness is the conscious decision to not just to remove some potatoes... but to relinquish the entire sack."
-Tao of Forgiveness from Derek Lin’s book ‘The Tao of Daily Life’.

’Forgiveness is not just for big issues, what I’ve learnt is that forgiveness can also be practiced everyday with everyone for very small things. For example, someone cuts you on the road or is rude to you in the supermarket queue – rather than build up anger and go home not knowing what’s bothering you, forgive the person on the spot (in your mind, you don’t need to say anything to anyone) and move on.
Forgiveness is the best investment for heart; it saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred and the wastage of peaceful moments.
A highly mindful person would be able to observe themselves in a situation objectively as if they were a third, uninvolved person watching the situation.
 “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else: you are the one who gets burned.” —Buddha.
“Any person capable of angering you becomes your master; he can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him.” —Epictetus.
"While we cannot stop an unwholesome thought or emotion from arising, we have the power to let it go, and the highly trained mind can let it go the moment it arises."-Dalai Lama.